Talk with me to develop a shared plan about what will happen next

Talk with me to develop a shared plan about what will happen next

  • Talk with me so that we can agree who we need to tell, what we should tell them and how this will happen
  • Talk to me about the different options available
  • Ask me what help or support I think I need
  • Remember, if there are things that have to happen, still talk with me about how they can happen. This helps me to feel in control
  • Check with me whether it would be reassuring for us to write down what we have agreed to do
  • Help me to make a safety plan

Young people say

“We don’t expect you to be an expert and solve it all. We just want you to hear, acknowledge it and tell us we’ll figure it out together.” Young Person

“When you’ve told someone something, it feels frightening and make you feel out of control.” Young Person

“If healthcare workers don’t say anything, it will just carry on. It tells us what’s happening to us is ok or it’s normal. We don’t expect healthcare workers to be exerts and solve it all. We just want healthcare workers to hear, acknowledge it and tell young people that ‘we’ll figure it out together’.” Young Person

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“When professionals say ‘I’m really glad you told me and we’ll work out what to do next together’, it makes you feel like it’s going to be OK.”

Young person

“If professionals are unsure about what to do, it’s good if you come up with a list of questions together and write down things we’re both unsure of and need to know. It makes it feel a but more equal, like you’re doing to together.”

Young person

“I say to young people ‘It’s important we tell someone who knows how to help but let’s plan this together’.”


“When a young person has told you something deeply important or difficult, it can make them feel very out of control. I try to help them feel in control and say “I’m not sure what the best thing to do is but I know who I can speak to… do you want to go together or should we write down what I will ask them to make sure I get it right and you know what I’m going to say?’”

“My main concern when a young person tells me something is helping them feel safe, so I always check ‘“What is going to make you feel safe? I want to make a plan with you to make you feel safe.’”

“If healthcare workers are not sure what to say or do they should admit that they're not sure, rather than trying to blunder along. So, if say they say ‘I’m worried about you, tell me what’s going on’ and then you’ve told them something, but they didn’t know what to say after that, they should say that. It could be comforting to know that ‘you’re kind of in it together’. They could say ‘I’m not exactly sure what to do, but we’re gonna work it out together, we’ll talk it through and then we can get advice from someone’.”

Young person

“It can help to write down what’s going to happen next, so you know they’ve understood you and you know what they will and won’t tell other people.”

Young person

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